What is embodiment coaching?

Embodiment coaching is about how you are in your body. How you do things. It's not just about what you think about them. Rather than just talking we look at things through your body. When a difficult topic comes up, your body does something: you hold your breath, lean back, smile when you don't mean it, speed up or go blank. You can bring awareness to those things and this awareness brings the choice to do something different.

What we can work with

Did you ever feel like something in your life keeps going the same way? Or felt stuck in a pattern that you want to change but no matter what you try you end up doing the same thing?

• "I say yes before I've even thought about it. Afterwards I'm angry, mostly at myself."
• "I'm tired all the time, and I still can't switch off in the evening."
• "When someone criticises me, I either go blank or I get defensive. Two hours later I know exactly what I should have said."
• "I've been going round in circles about this decision for months."
• "I want to be more visible with my work, and I keep finding reasons not to."
• "I'm the one who holds everything together, at work, at home, for my friends. I don't know how to stop."
• "Something has ended, a job, a relationship, a life in another country, and I don't know how to start the next part."

Usually we are good at knowing our patterns and explaining them intellectually. We know where they come from, have read the books and maybe even done therapy. And still, in the moment itself, the old thing happens. This gap between knowing and doing is where embodiment coaching works.

What embodiment means

Most of us grew up treating the body as an object. Something to feed, train, fix when it hurts and improve when it doesn't look right. A vehicle for the head.

From an embodiment perspective you don't have a body. You are the body, the body is part of who and what you are. How you stand, breathe and hold tension. How you move, how you shake hands, how you open a door, how close you let people come. Your way of being in the world, and mostly subconscious.

It works both directions. Your way of being shows in your body, and your body reflects your being. If you've braced your shoulders for twenty years, this isn't only a sign of how you feel. It has become part of how you move through life. This is why working with the body can change something that talking alone doesn't reach.

Where our habits come from

We are not born with a certain embodiment. It's not a conscious process. It builds from your experiences and keeps evolving.

Some of it comes from your family. If while growing up it felt safer to keep everyone happy, your body learned to smile, nod and say yes quickly. If you had to cope on your own early in life, maybe it learned to brace and keep going. Some of it comes from the culture around you. Children soak up how the adults move, sit and speak. Many women I know learned to take up little space, sit neatly and soften every "no". Some of it comes from the place you're in, and from the people in the room with you today.

Most of these habits made sense once. They stay long after the situation that created them is gone. They show up at work, in relationships, in how you take a compliment. Because they're so familiar, they feel like "just me". They are you, but they aren't all you could be.

What embodiment isn't

It isn't body language

Body language is about signs. What crossed arms mean, which pose to strike before a meeting. You put it on like a costume, but in the moment pressure comes you can't hold it. Embodiment works slower and is more personal.

It isn't exercise

You can do an hour of yoga and think about your shopping list the whole time. Movement becomes embodied practice when you pay attention to what's happening and connect it to how you live.

It isn't a look

Embodiment isn't about looking calm, flexible or spiritual. It isn't about feeling good all the time. You can be embodied in tears, in rage, in deep stillness. It starts with awareness of what is there, also tension, numbness or emptiness.

Four things you can learn

My teacher Mark Walsh follows the model of embodied intelligence. It's basically four skills anyone can learn:

• noticing your own state, as it is, in the moment
• changing your state when you need to, for example calming down or activating
• noticing what's going on in other people
• influencing others through how you are, not only through what you say

All four come down to the same two things: awareness and choice. First you notice what's there. Then you find out you can change something should you wish to do so.

Why understanding alone doesn't change it

Knowing and understanding patterns and habits intellectually, being able to explain them and saying that we want to change them is one thing. But our habits and patterns do not only live in the mind, we embody them. Therefore change can't happen merely through saying "I want to change this".

For change to arrive in the body we need time and practice. The body doesn't just follow when your mind says "I want this change". Under stress the body reaches for what is known. Some people push harder, some pull away, some go still or blank, some lose all their energy, some reach for the phone, the fridge or another glass.

You think less clearly, you're less kind, you feel less, and you fall back on what you know best. That's why the old pattern shows up exactly when it matters. A big part of my work is helping you notice that moment and get a bit of choice back inside it.

What happens in a session

Every session is different, but a few things come back.

We start with what you want

You bring what's on your mind, we look at it also through the body and find out what you would like to change.

We centre

Centring is a major part of embodiment coaching. We use different techniques that help you to connect to yourself and your body rather than being too much in your head or guided by your worries. It isn't always about calming down. Sometimes what you need is more energy, not less.

I ask what you're doing in your body

"As you're telling me this, what's happening in your shoulders? Your jaw? In your breath?" I ask rather than telling you what I see. You find the answers in yourself, I guide and support this process.

If you don't notice anything, that's fine. Sometimes I ask if I can tell you or show you, and copy what you do. We all have habits we no longer notice, the way you stop hearing a clock that has ticked in your room for years. Someone else often sees it straight away.

We try another way

Say you've been telling me about a colleague who keeps handing you his work. I might ask you to stand up and say "no" out loud, with one hand in front of you. You might lean back, speak with a quiet voice. We bring your awareness to that and then we change something. You stand firm and say "no" with confidence. Then we look at how that feels. Maybe you can say "no" and still be kind?

Other times the body does the brainstorming. We look at the same question slow and solid, then soft and flowing, then fast and direct, then light and playful. Each way of moving brings up different ideas. Some of these ways to move will feel familiar, others new, pleasant or uncomfortable.

When you need to make a decision and feel stuck, we might practise listening not only to what your head says but also to what you feel in your heart and your belly. The loudest voice is not always the best one to follow, but the one that keeps other parts unheard.

We come back to your life

Before we finish I ask what you noticed, what's different now, and what you'll do with it. We discuss what is useful for you to take with you into your daily life. A small practice, or awareness for something specific.

Most of the practising happens between sessions. Whatever you repeat, you get good at, including the habits you want to change.

The body is wise, but it isn't an oracle

There is this saying that the body never lies. My teacher Mark Walsh points out that our body is not always trustworthy though. A strong feeling can be an old survival strategy or a habit. What feels like intuition is sometimes fear. Learning to tell the difference is part of the work. Therefore rather than asking your body "What should I do?" we look at "What's here that you didn't notice before?"

Questions people ask

Is embodiment coaching therapy?

No. Therapy often looks at where something comes from. Coaching looks at where you want to go and what you need to practise to get there. I might make suggestions but you decide what we do, and you can say no. I don't diagnose or treat anything. If something needs a therapist or a doctor, I'll tell you.

What if I don't feel much in my body?

That's common, and a good place to start. A lot of modern life numbs us: long hours sitting, screens, always being busy. We go slowly.

Do I need to be fit or do yoga?

No. The movements are small: standing up, a gesture, a change in how you sit. Nobody has to look good doing it.

Is there science behind it?

Some. Research on how the body shapes thinking and emotion, on stress and on meditation supports many of the basic ideas. I don't sell embodiment as proven science. I'd rather you try it and see what it does for you.

Can embodiment coaching work online?

Yes. I've written about it here: Does embodiment coaching work online?

Where did you train?

With Embodiment Unlimited: the Coaching Embodiment Certification in 2024, and since 2025 the Masters of Embodiment Coaching and some certifications.

Book a session

I work one to one, online or in person in Canacona, South Goa, in English or German. If something here sounds familiar, write to me and we'll find a time.

Book a 1:1 session

Barbara · yoga teacher, embodiment coach and Tao Tantric Arts facilitator